January 2017

Hello 2017! 

Welcome 2017! And goodbye to 2016.

2016 has been one of the most challenging and rewarding years yet.

It has been a year since my grandfather died, it has been almost 2 years since I left my husband which means almost 2 years of constant battling custody/visitation and it has been exhausting to say the least.

2016 was also the year my second baby was born, it’s the year my family went from 3 to 4. It’s the year my 1 year old turned 2. It’s the year my relationship with my partner has struggled and has grown. Nothing could have prepared me for how much my life changed for the better when we got together. He has stayed by my side through depression, he has taken my daughter as his own. Seeing them interact with each other makes everything slip away, nothing is more important than my family.
But on that note, going through all the hardships of 2016 has left me drained and I have not been my best, I am overweight, I struggle with anxiety, I am impatient with my partner and my kids and I hate it. I am not perfect and I hate the person I have become. I question my ability to parent effectively. I question my ability to provide for my children, I complain too much and don’t spend enough one on one time with my family.My goal for 2017 is to take care of myself.  To do what I need to do to be a better me physically, mentally, emotionally. My children mean the world to me and they deserve a mother that is competent. They deserve a mother that loves herself so that they can love themselves.
I will be making another blog post detailing my goals and how I am going to go about achieving them.
I am excited and terrified about where 2017 will take me. Am I strong enough to handle what the world has in store for me? Will I be able to show my children that I love them unconditionally? Will I be able to show my partner how much they mean to me? Will I be able to love myself unconditionally? Will I be able to break down my own barriers and see myself for who I truly am?

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